The Black Father As A ‘Man of Steel’

I saw the summer blockbuster ‘Man of Steel’ three days before it’s wide release and I’m confident that Warner Brothers has rebounded from the mediocrity that was ‘Superman Returns’ with a film that will be enjoyed by the masses, from devoted fans to casual ones.  With Father’s Day on Sunday, there are many African-American fathers who themselves have to demonstrate super-human abilities on a daily basis. Some of those include hurdling ubiquitous stereotypes that label black dads as absentee fathers, racial profiling, lack ofintelligence, and more.

In the film ‘Man of Steel’, the star, Cal-El, played incredibly by Henry Cavill, has two fathers; his birth father, Jor-El, played by Academy Award winner Russell Crowe, who appears in hologram form only, and Jonathan Kent, played by Academy Award winner Kevin Costner, the man who raised Cal-El on earth who we see in numerous flashbacks of his life.

The most imp active lesson that Cal-El learned from his earth father is to not be a show off with his power.  He stressed to his son the importance of shouldering the weight of the world once his supernatural abilities are discovered.  It is a lesson that our film hero carried with him into adulthood.

Superman learned from his birth father, Jor-El, his origin, and the reasoning why he was sent to another planet.  He also explained to his son that he had the confidence that he would be able to succeed, despite the tremendous burdens placed upon him.  Confidence by a father in a child can be crucial to success in life.

While our hero in the film is blessed with two fathers, most of us only need one to get the job done. I had the opportunity to speak withsome black Dads about fatherhood, and got some great feedback.

“The unique thing about being a black father is to be able to share my lineage with my children” said Rome Neal, an accomplished actor, the artistic theater director of the Nuyorican Poets Café, and a father of four.  “The super power I need is to live for ever and a day to see my grand’s and great grand’s blossom and grow into their awesome potential in life.”  Mr Neal knows about being a successful black father, and one only has to look at his adult children to validate it.

His oldest son, Rome Kyn is a journalist, while Smile Kyn is a technical engineer.  Third oldest Treasure Kyn is graphic designer, and we should all remember his youngest, Lia Maria, who made headlines this past summer when she won Olympic Bronze at the 2012 London games as a swimmer. She is headed to Stanford University this fall.

I also spoke to Xavior Ross Qvistgaard, a personal fitness trainer who lives in Harlem, about black fatherhood.  “The uniqueness of being a black father is the realization that society has already written us off.”  He then has to implore his son Jordan, who turns 13 next month, that this is untrue, and teaches him that “being black is not a curse but an honor.”

N. A. Henry, an associate director of tax technologies at a Fortune 500 company, had similar thoughts.  “We are heavily scrutinized, as there is already a stereotype that we are not present at home.  A (father) being at home should be the norm.”  Mr. Henry elaborated, adding “we have the burden of raising our children to do 10 times better than the next guy just for the mere fact that there may be additional burdens placed on them.”

Cheo Tyehimba Taylor, founder and executive producer of The Game Changers Project, based out of Oakland, shared his thoughts as well.“Black fathers have a resilience gene built into our DNA. We know what it takes to overcome obstacles, and if we’re fathering right, we pass this on to our children.”  When I asked Cheo about what super powers he would choose, he selected “the power of extra sensory perception (ESP) across emotional, spiritual, and intellectual connections.”  He continued, adding “fathers are critically important to building a child’s self-esteem and this heightened power would help me do more of what I already do.”

Charlie Braxton, a poet, playwright, and journalist born and raised in Mississippi, shared his southern perspective.  “The most unique thing about being a Black father in America is that in addition to having the awesome privilege of loving and being loved unconditionally and the responsibility of taking care of your children’s basic needs, you also have the daunting task of teaching your children how to navigate their way through a society that is still largely racist.”  An easier question for Mr. Braxton to answer was about his potential super powers.  “I’d like to be able to clone myself instantly. When you’re a parent with two or more kids, there is never enough of you to go around” he exclaimed with laughter.

Though I don’t have any children currently, when I do have offspring, I want my super power to be compassion.  The ability of knowing what to say combined with when and how, is a talent that few possess.  I must admit that I wouldn’t mind having super-strength and the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound as well.

Fatherhood is the most precious bond two males can share, and it is one of the most beautiful things in the world to witness when a bond is so obvious, you know it exists, even amongst two people you have never met.  Black fathers who raise black or biracial kids face the challenge of defeating the ideas of those who will choose to limit the potential of their son’s and daughters, simply based on the color of their skin, and not, as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once proclaimed, ‘the content of their character.’

So this Sunday, if you don’t already have plans in place, seeing ‘Man of Steel’ would be a great choice. After the film, which I’m certain you and your father would enjoy, a simple ‘Thanks Dad for being my ‘Man of Steel’’ might just bring tears of joy to the eyes of your Superman, and become a moment he cherishes for the rest of his life.